I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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