its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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