I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
