i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
