The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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