I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Randomize
