you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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