Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
