before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
