I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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