My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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