There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
