It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
