my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
