You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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