also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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