Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
