I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
