i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
