Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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