He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
