Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT