i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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