I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
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and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
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If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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