Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
