took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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