weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
