thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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