im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
it's like heaven, but drunker
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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