threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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