Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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