I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
