well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
