I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
