Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
