The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Never joke about your clitoris.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize