She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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