Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
