2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize