A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
