i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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