I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He did a backflip because drugs
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