Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
