How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
