Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
