I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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