Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
