smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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