After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
