I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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