Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
