I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
