Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do vagina's smell?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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