My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
