I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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