I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize