This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
