I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
