I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
