Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
