This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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