Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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