so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
