i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
