Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
