your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No subtext here. People are naked.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
