i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
