So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
