I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
