I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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